Living, Vibin’ & Alone in the own zone

 Humans are social animals....

We are naturally drawn toward people. We want someone to talk to after a long day, someone to laugh with over absolutely pointless things, someone to call when life gets a little too heavy, and sometimes, just someone sitting beside us without saying anything. We grow up believing that having people around us is a necessity. Friends, colleagues, groups, circles, communities, the bigger the circle, the more connected we supposedly are. I tried being that person too. I tried fitting into circles, maintaining friendships, being available, participating in plans and keeping conversations alive. But somewhere along the way, I realized something rather uncomfortable: I was constantly trying to fit myself into places where I didn't really belong.

As of now, many people around me know that I stay alone. I no longer fancy big groups of people around me because I noted that I get extremely uncomfortable when there are huge number of people around me. That is kind of troubling, because whenever I was around people, I somehow ended up thinking about them before thinking about myself. What they needed, what they were going through, whether they were okay, whether I should help, whether I should be available. And while there is nothing wrong with caring about people, somewhere in that process I forgot to ask myself a very basic question: "What do I want?"

Living alone slowly forced me to ask that question.

And honestly, I liked the answer.

When you live alone in a big city, something strange happens. You are surrounded by thousands, sometimes millions, of people, yet your life becomes entirely your own. You wake up when you want. You eat what you want. You decide where to go. You decide whether today is a productive day or a "let me just lie down and question every decision I've made since childhood" day. Nobody is constantly asking where you are going or why you're doing something. Your decisions don't need a committee meeting.

There is a certain freedom in that.

You start doing things alone that you once thought required company. You go to a café alone. You watch a movie alone. You explore a new part of the city alone. You take yourself out for dinner. You walk around with your headphones on, watching the city move around you while you're perfectly comfortable being inside your own little world.

And somewhere between that first awkward solo coffee and the hundredth walk back home alone, you realize something beautiful: you don't actually need an audience to enjoy your life.

The city becomes your playground. You learn that you can make spontaneous plans without sending seventeen messages to a group chat. You can wake up on a Sunday and decide to explore somewhere completely random. You can sit in a park, watch people pass by, observe the chaos of traffic, listen to music and simply exist.

But the biggest thing living alone gives you isn't freedom. It's self-discovery.

When you're constantly surrounded by people, you are constantly exposed to their opinions, expectations, habits and definitions of success. Someone tells you what you should do. Someone tells you what you should like. Someone tells you where you should go. Someone tells you how you should live.

When you're alone, all that noise disappears. And then you meet the real yourself.

You start noticing things about yourself that you never had the time or courage to notice before. You discover what actually makes you happy. You understand what drains you. You recognize your insecurities. You confront your failures. You find interests you had ignored. You begin working on parts of yourself that nobody else even knew existed.

Sometimes, the person you spend the least time talking to is yourself.

Living alone changes that.

You start having conversations with yourself, not literally sitting in front of a mirror giving yourself motivational speeches, although let's not rule that out; but actually thinking about your life, your decisions, your mistakes and where you want to go next.

And that's where solitude becomes powerful.

It also changed how I look at friendship. I don't think I need a hundred friends. I don't even think I want a hundred friends.

I would rather have a handful of people who genuinely understand me than a massive circle that exists mostly for noise, plans and appearances. I still make friends. I still enjoy conversations. I still enjoy meeting people. But I've become selective about who I allow into my inner circle.

Because as you grow older, you realize that having access to someone and actually having their support are two completely different things.

We often romanticize older generations for their friendships - the idea that your friends were the people who would show up when you needed them. Today, relationships can sometimes become transactional. People remember you when they need something, and your kindness can occasionally be mistaken for unlimited availability.

So I've learned to keep my circle small. Not because I hate people. Because I value peace.

Loneliness is wanting someone and feeling like nobody is there.

Solitude is having the ability to be alone and still feel complete.

I can enjoy a quiet evening by myself and still love the people in my life. I can spend an entire weekend alone and still look forward to meeting someone I care about. I can enjoy my independence without believing that relationships are unnecessary.

I like living alone. I like the independence. I like making my own rules. I like the silence after a long day. I like randomly exploring the city. I like sitting with my thoughts. I like having a small circle instead of a crowded one. I like knowing that I can take myself somewhere, enjoy myself and come back home without needing anyone to validate the experience.

So yes, if you ask me, this is the way I want to live.

Alone.

Independent.

Quiet.

Vibin'.

Doing my own thing.

And I'm perfectly happy with it.

...

Until someone comes along and makes me voluntarily give up all of this. ❤️

Because, apparently, even the biggest advocates of "I love living alone" have one tiny exception to their philosophy. The position are still open though :)

And if you know, you know. 😌 Lets just keep it under the wraps for now, or else I have to (over)think how to soft-launch someone new to my family. That will have to wait for couple of more years...

Signing off...